Gravity Falls: RETURN of the Mystery Twins
by Author of the Insane
Summary: wmoy prrvl uxb, klxs kufyzbk gyir'x nbe, fnn kuvmk uuivrmoir yew dlfk fxala. frx aiheoey'j tfrx, mf gyir lvglvg nf gyi xrtvkifyeg wsk qyvtl mbvl pitle. gyi mina yew wynekxx, shk wh briv xayp, neh mixrklxl kuvc yutr r fkueq eip xrl. nltn ern qhhjgvvl qzyc eijvni? axfc fkvtj pblvlycs zr, mbv nuzxhkhii'l hvni. Written with Writing Avenger 2016
1. Prologue

Five years had passed since "Weirdmaggedon", or the "Odd-pocalypse" as some Gravity Falls residents referred to it as. Five years since the summer Dipper and Mabel Pines had come to live with their eccentric con-man of a Great-Uncle, Stan Pines. In that time, the tiny Oregon town had settled back into its normal level of strangeness.

The Mystery Shack, though no longer run by Stanley Pines, was still open and operational thanks to the dedication and hard work of former handyman Jesus "Soos" Ramirez. Donning Stan's old fez and eyepatch, Soos embraced his role as "The New Mr. Mystery".

…..

As with every tour, Soos brought his latest group of customers over to a large wooden sculpture (done by Wendy out of boredom) of the Pines family. It featured both Dipper and Mabel, the two of them being held by Stan Pines. Mabel held her favorite grappling hook while Dipper had a large journal in his hands. Perched at the feet of the carved family was Waddles, Mabel's pet pig. Underneath the statue was a plague that read "The Heroes of Gravity Falls."

"And over here, we have a monument dedicated to the heroes of Gravity Falls, the Pines family, who saved our fair town from the 'incident' that occurred five years ago. While they are no longer with us now, their spirit lives within all of us forever. Trust me it's a lot less creepy than it sounds."

The patrons all clapped, a few even whistling. Soos smiled at the cheers as he passed around his fez, his customers willingly handing over wads of cash for the show. As one little kid came and placed a wadded up five in the fez, he looked up at Soos with wide eyes.

"Mistah Soos?" he asked in a cute, little kid voice. "Where are the Pines family now?"

Soos bent down and ruffled the kid's hair.

"I'm afraid that's privileged information little dude." he told him. "I can't tell you that Stan and Ford went to explore the world and solve all of its weird and interesting mysteries."

The kid went wide eyed as Soos continued.

"I also can't tell you that Dipper and Mabel have recently graduated high school and are about to go to college at Alex Hirsch University back in Piedmont California. It's all hush hush and all that."

"Cool!" The little kid exclaimed as his mom scooped down and picked him up. "They're my heroes!"

Soos watched them leave as he slid the eyepatch off his eye and looked down at the fez in his hand.

"Mine too, little dude. Mine too."

…..

Soos finished locking up the Mystery Shack, flipping the sign from open to close and untying his bow tie. With a smile, he passed through the curtain leading into the house part of the shack. Inside, he found his wife Melody watching "The Squirts" with his 2-year old son Stan.

"Evening Melody." he called, placing his coat on a nearby coat rack. "Hey Stan."

Little Stan grinned, running over to his daddy and throwing his little arms around him. Soos scooped him up, holding him close and kissing his face over and over. Stan giggled, trying to push his dad's face away with his tiny, child sized hands. Melody laughed at the exchange, placing a kiss of her own on Soos' cheek.

"How did you do today?" she asked, taking Stan back.

"Pretty good." he replied. "I figured we should celebrate tonight with some dinosaur shaped cookies."

Little Stan cheered at the thought of his favorite treat. Even Melody smiled.

"That sounds like a great idea."

Slipping out of his suit, Soos pulled on his favorite tee-shirt, the dark green question mark shirt that Stan Pines had given him the first day they met. Grabbing his ball-cap, he took the day's earnings and prepared to walk out. As he opened the door, he was surprised to see a familiar red head at the door, fist raised to knock.

"Wendy!" he called, hugging her tightly. "What's up dudette?"

Wendy accepted the hug, giving an equally strong one in return.

"Not much." she replied with a shrug. "Just got off work at the lumber yard, thought I'd come see how the old place was doing."

Both Wendy and Soos took a few steps back, looking up at the shack. It was in much better shape than it had been in the past. The 'S' that constantly fell down was now permanently attached to the large sign on the roof. The paint was fresh and all of the woodwork was well-fitted and smooth.

"I guess Stan was smart to leave his handyman in charge." she commented.

"Yep." Soos replied with a happy sigh. "Living the dream. Got a beautiful wife, a cute little boy of my own, and I have the job I have always dreamed of."

Wendy looked over and raised an eyebrow.

"I thought your dream was to be adopted by Stan."

Soos shrugged.

"This was a close second." he replied.

They stood there for a minute as Wendy placed her arm around Soos.

"You miss them too, doncha?"

"Yeah." Soos nodded. "I just wish something would bring them back. Gravity Falls just isn't the same without the Pines Family."

"You said it dude." Wendy agreed.

All of a sudden, the sky went dark. The cheery, late-summer evening turned an ominous shade of grey. The wind began to whirl, shaking the trees, the totem pole, and even the shack itself. Both Soos and Wendy braced themselves as a stream of blue fire suddenly came shooting out of the skies, scorching the earth directly in front of them. Then, just as quickly as it had come, the fire disappeared, taking with it the sudden gloom and wind. Standing in the circle of ash was a strange man. He wore a black trench coat over a discolored white shirt and a pair of torn cargo pants. He seemed to be missing his left shoe, a grey sock with a hole in the toe serving as his only protection. A large pair of glasses with cracked lenses were perched on his nose and a red knit cap was pulled down over his hair.

"Aw geez." The strange man muttered in a familiar voice. "I can't see squat through these things."

The man took off the glasses, squinting in an attempt to see farther.

"Great. Now I'm gonna need to get a new pair of glasses."

Both Wendy and Soos stared at the man. They recognized his voice all too well, but it was impossible. Still, weirder had happened, so Wendy stepped forward.

"Mr. Pines?" She asked.

The man perked up, meeting Wendy's eye.

"Wendy?" he asked. "Soos? What in Sam's hill are you-?"

An ominous crack suddenly emanated from the large Mystery Shack sign. Acting quickly, Soos grabbed Wendy, pulling her back seconds before the large 'S' came crashing down on their mysterious visitor.

"Hot Belgian Waffles!" The man cried out in pain.

Both Wendy and Soos recognized that particular brand of swearing, and they recognized the next part even more.

"Wait… you're adults. I can swear for real. Son of a-!"

"Stan!" the two cried out.

Just then little Stan came to the window and waved at his dad.

"Not you little Stan!" Soos called back.

Little Stan seemed to sigh, then he walked away from the window. Soos grabbed one end of the S while Wendy grabbed the other. Together, they lifted it up so Stan could crawl out from under it. Once he was clear, the two dropped it once more to tend to their former boss.

"Mr. Pines." Soos called. "Are you alright?"

"Yeah… I'm fine..." he replied. "What are you two doing here?"

Wendy and Soos exchanged glances before looking back at Stan.

"Umm, you're the one who needs to answer that question." Wendy replied. "What are you doing back in Gravity Falls?"

Stan blinked, standing up.

"Gravity Falls?" he repeated. "That's not right… I was in Dimension 36 with Ford and-"

That's when he seemed to get a bit worried. He started looking around frantically.

"Ford... Where's Ford?"

"Sorry Mr. Pines." Soos replied. "You're the only Stan that's fallen from the sky today."

Stan grumbled, ceasing his frantic search and punching the fallen 'S'.

"Great. Just great. I've only had him back for five years and the multiverse snatches him from me again!"

In anger, he grabbed his knit cap, throwing it on the ground and stomping on it.

"This! Is! Just! Perfect!" he exclaimed with every angry stomp.

Wendy and Soos just stood there, their jaws practically on the ground at what they were seeing. Stan's once grey, neatly trimmed hair was now dark brown, coming down to his shoulders in the back. After a minute, Soos raised a finger, pointing as Stan.

"Mr. Pines..." he said in a state of shock. "Your hair..."

Stan looked over in confusion.

"My hair?" he asked, placing his hand on his head. "What's wrong with my-?"

His own words caught in his throat as he ran his hand through his long brown locks, his eyes going wide.

"What the… Since when do I have this much hair?"

He pulled some around so he could look at it, and then practically screamed.

"And since when is it brown?!"

He began patting himself down, as if trying to feel if anything else was difference. One thing he noticed was the distinct lack of fat on his stomach, an unfortunate side effect of the sedentary lifestyle he adopted after taking his brother's identity. In fact, he could easily say that he looked the same way he did the day he showed up at his brother's doorstep nearly 35 years ago.

"Holy Mother of Sassafras, I'm 30 again!" he finally realized. "I have my ugly mullet and everything!"

Soos came over, rubbing his hand on Stan's face and marveling at the smoothness of it.

"Wow, Mr. Pines." Soos murmured as he continued to stroke Stan. "Your skin is so smooth. Are you using some sort of interdimensional moisturizer?"

"Can it Soos!" Stan shouted slapping Soos' hand away.

"In all seriousness, Mr. Pines," Wendy interjected. "How are you 30 again? You should be… like… 70 now."

"I'm 67, thank you very much." Stan snapped, then he honestly seemed to ponder Wendy's question. "But as for why I'm not… i don't know. In fact i don't remember much of what happened."

"So something, or someone, turned you into a 30 year old, then sent you back here." Wendy tried to rationalize. "And when they did, they sent you alone, and you have no memory of why and how."

Stan nodded.

"That about sums it up."

The three of them were quiet for a moment before Soos spoke up.

"So… what do we do now?"

"Easy. I find my brother." Stan remarked,

"But how?" Wendy asked. "I mean, last time it took you 30 years to find him, and you had his journals."

Stan just smirked, striking a heroic pose.

"I don't need the journals." he replied. "I've got something even better. Soos, fire up the Stan-mobile. I'm going to Piedmont."

Soos nodded.

"Ok but I'll need help getting it out of the shack." he explained. "I've been keeping it as part of the exhibit."

.

.

.

.

9-20 23-15-21-12-4-14'20 2-5 7-18-1-22-9-20-25 6-1-12-12-19 23-9-20-8-15-21-20 3-9-16-8-5-18-19, 14-15-23 23-15-21-12-4 9-20?


	2. Welcome Back!

The first week of classes at Alex Hirsch University drew to a close, much to the delight of Dipper and Mabel Pines. After graduating High School together, the twins had decided to attend the same university, determined to stay together through everything. Though they were both studying different majors (Dipper's being Natural Sciences while Mabel's was Art and Fashion), they had managed to get a co-ed dorm together. With a little reorganizing, they had set it up to resemble the attic room they had shared during the summer that changed their lives.

Dipper was lying on his bed, currently working on an assignment for his geology class. While he classified a list of different rocks and rock structures, Mabel was on her laptop, video chatting with her two best friends Grenda and Candy.

"I'm so excited, guys!" Grenda's deep voice rang put through Mabel's speakers. "Marius proposed to me, and we're gonna get married!"

Both Mabel and Candy squeed, so happy for their friend.

"I cannot wait." Candy remarked. "It has been too long since we have seen each other in person. Your wedding will be the perfect chance for us to be reunited."

"I still get to be your maid of honor, right?" Mabel asked.

"I thought I was the maid of honor!" Candy whined.

Both Mabel and Candy glared at each other through the screen before Grenda got between them, metaphorically speaking.

"Girls, you're both my maid of honor!" She explained. "I'm gonna be a Baroness, so I can do whatever I want!"

Once again, Candy and Mabel squeed. Dipper looked over at his sister, a smirk on his face as he pulled out a pair of headphones, turning on some BABBA music to drown out the high pitched noises.

"The ceremony will be in a few months." Grenda explained. "And Marius is letting me pick the venue. I've decided to hold it in Gravity Falls, the place where our love began, and where I met the two best friends a future baroness could ask for!"

"Awww..." Both Mabel and Candy cooed. "Thank you."

Off camera on Grenda's end, Marius' posh accent could be heard calling for Grenda.

"Gotta go girls!" she waved. "I'll call again soon!"

"I've got to go too." Candy replied. "I have a few hour's worth of math problems to solve."

"Alright." Mabel called. "Bye girls!"

She closed her laptop, then flopped down onto her bed. With her call now over, Dipper removed his headphones.

"I can't believe Grenda's finally getting married." Mabel commented. "And at 19! Usually Barons and Baronesses get married at our age."

Dipper looked over, that smirk still on his face.

"Yeah. I thought he'd have backed out by now."

This earned him a pillow in the face. He took the blow good naturedly, handing his sister back her projectile weapon. For a moment, there was silence until a question came to Dipper.

""Do you ever miss it?" he asked.

She turned her head to face him after hearing that.

"What do you mean?"

"Gravity Falls… all of the adventures, all of our friends, the Mystery Shack… do you ever miss it?"

Mabel sat up, nodding.

"Of course I do, Dip-Dip."

Dipper groaned at the use of a childhood nickname Mabel had coined for him.

"I thought we agreed to stop calling me that three years ago." He said annoyed.

"Still fun." Mabel responded before laying back down on her bed. "But yeah, I miss Gravity Falls… You know, we said we'd go back someday, but we never did."

Dipper nodded.

"Well, we grew up. We had school, summer jobs, graduations, and now college. It just kind of got pushed aside."

"And without Grunkle Stan or Grunkle Ford to take care of us, Mom and Dad wouldn't let us go." Mabel added.

"And even if they knew Soos, I doubt they'd trust him with us." Dipper pointed out.

Mabel crossed her arms.

"They trusted Grunkle Stan."

Dipper chuckled.

"Because they thought he was Grunkle Ford." He clarified.

They both laughed a bit on that, remembering how confused they themselves had been, and how Soos' attempts to explain it had only made things worse. As the laughter died away, Mabel looked over at her brother.

"How do you think they're doing?"

"Considering they're finally together and getting along like twins should," Dipper explained. "I think they're doing okay."

A knock on their door interrupted their reminiscing. Not expecting any guests, the two twins looked at each other in confusion.

"Did we order a pizza?" Dipper asked.

"Maybe it's Norman from room 618." Mabel suggested. "He has been flirting with me in Fashion 101, but he looks too much like Gnome Norman."

Both twins shivered at the memory of the gnomes who had tried to make Mabel their queen. The knocking returned, prompting Dipper to rise and answer the door.

"Can I help you?" he ask as the door opened.

Standing in the doorway was a 30 year old man with short brown hair, glasses, and a black coat over a white shirt, cargo pants, and hiking boots.

"Hi kids." the man said with a wave.

Dipper cocked an eyebrow, then spoke.

"Do we know you?" he asked.

"Come on kid, it's me. Your Grunkle Stan."

Now Mabel was intrigued. She joined her brother in the doorway, looking at the strange man.

"Pfft." she snorted. "No way you're Grunkle Stan. Our uncle's like 80!"

"Wow Mabel." The man said in a deadpan voice. "You really know how to break an old man's heart. I'm only 67….. Mentally. Physically… yeah I'm still trying to figure that out."

"Well physically, we're going to ignore you." Dipper quipped.

He tried to close the door, but the man's boot quickly prevented that from occurring.

"Come on, kids!" he called desperately. "I can prove it! Ask me something only your Grunkle Stan will know."

Both Dipper and Mabel contemplated it, then the former sighed and reopened the door.

"Alright." he said. "Mabel, take it away."

Mabel grinned as she cracked her knuckles.

"What were our summerween costumes?" she asked.

The man crossed his arms and smiled.

"Peanut butter and Strawberry jelly." he answered.

Mabel nodded.

"Alright, but that's a classic twin costume. We need something harder."

Dipper had an idea.

"Here's one." he interjected. "When I accidentally brought the dead back to life, what did we have to do to defeat them?"

"Sing some sappy girl song Mabel had on her Karaoke machine." He immediately responded.

Now both Dipper and Mabel were starting to buy it, but they had been fooled before. That's when Mabel came up with the final test.

"Okay, you've gotten them right so far, but if you want to prove you're Grunkle Stan, then you have to do the Stan is Wrong Song! And the dance!"

"You're really gonna make me do this?" The man asked with a sigh. "You made me do that song like thirty time after i lost that bet."

"Do it!" Mabel shouted.

The man groaned.

"The things I do for this family."

He took a few steps back and began a very half-hearted dance.

"I'm Stan, and I was wrong. I'm singing the Stan Wrong Song. I shouldn't have taken that chance, so here's my remorseful dance."

As he did the pathetic kicks, Dipper and Mabel opened the door, stepping into the hallway with wide-eyed expressions. The man finished up the dance and looked at them.

"Believe me now?" he asked.

"Grunkle Stan!" the two of them shouted as they ran and hugged their Great Uncle.

Stan braced himself, hugging his 18 year old niece and nephew for a good three minutes before finally releasing them.

"It's good to see you kids." he told them, "I would have come sooner, but I needed to get a new pair of glasses, a haircut, and a new pair of shoes. One of mine got lost and I do not look good in a mullet."

"But how did you get so young?" Dipper asked as he and Mabel let go.

"It's a long story, and frankly I don't remember half of it." Stan responded.

"And where's Grunkle Ford?" Mabel added.

Stan rubbed the back of his head.

"That's the other half I don't remember." he explained. "All I know is I'm now 30, Ford's missing, and I need your help."

"Well, what can we do?" Dipper asked.

"While I may be 30, I'm still your stupid Grunkle, meaning I'm not smart enough to find Ford on my own. That's why I need you guys to ditch this boring old college life and follow me back into the harrowing dangers that seem to surround our family."

Mabel gasped as she looked over at her brother.

"Dipper, do you know what this means?"

"That Grunkle Ford is in serious danger?" Dipper replied.

"No… well… yes… but that's not all! We're going back to Gravity Falls!"

Dipper smiled as Mabel cheered.

"We'll need to pack." he told his sister before turning to Stan. "Give us a few minutes and we'll meet you in the parking lot."

The twins disappeared back into their room as Stan smiled.

"I knew I could count on them."

…..

As Stan drove the kids across the states, dodging traffic cops and gas payments in true Stan Pines fashion, Dipper and Mabel were on the phone, making some last minute adjustments.

"Hello? Dean Aakeroy?" Dipper called into his phone. "This is D- Mason Pines. I'm calling so I can drop me and my sister out of our classes for the semester. Uh-huh… Uh-huh… Yeah, it's a family emergency."

Meanwhile, Mabel was dealing with a more personal adjustment.

"Hi Mom! Hi Dad! Look, Dipper and I aren't going to college for the rest of the semester….. Yes, Dipper's working on a refund as we speak…. Yes, we will have a place to stay… Grunkle Stan and Grunkle Ford need our help with a research project… yes we will be careful."

"Yes Dean Aakeroy, I understand that this will affect our chances of re-enrollment…. Thank you for understanding."

"Thanks mom and dad! Love you!"

The twins hung up and sighed in relief.

"Alright, tuition has been refunded and we're officially off the class roster." Dipper said as he stuffed his phone into his pocket.

"And Mom and Dad are okay, so long as we aren't doing drugs or joining a cult." Mabel added.

Stan chuckled.

"Well now that we've got that squared away, we're gonna need a plan."

"So Grunkle Stan, where was the last place you saw Grunkle Ford?" Dipper asked.

Stan thought for a moment, his fingers drumming on the steering wheel

"We were traveling through Dimension 36 for some reason I can't remember," Stan recollected. "Then, the next thing I know, I'm standing in front of the Mystery Shack with Wendy and Soos."

"So that means we'll have to get to dimension 36 to find where your memories leave off." Dipper surmised.

"But how are we gonna get there?" Mabel asked.

"Ford and i were using this portal gun that he got from a friend of his. Some old fart named Rick." Stan said. "The guy made me and Ford look young. Before we were young!"

"Do you have it with you?" Dipper asked.

"Unfortunately no." Stan answered. "That means its either A. with Ford, or B. lost and/or destroyed."

"Well then what are we gonna do?" Mabel asked.

"That's why i came to you kids." Stan responded. "You're always coming up with these solutions to impossible problems."

Dipper and Mabel thought for a moment.

"The only thing i can think of is the portal Grunkle Ford made in the basement of the Mystery Shack." Dipper suggested.

"But didn't Grunkle Ford dismantle it." Mabel asked.

"He did." Dipper answered. "And the only plans for it were in the journals which Bill destroyed."

"And Ford was the only one who knew how it worked." Stan added.

That's when Mabel remembered something. She sat up, pushing her brother.

"Dipper. Remember that crazy old man?"

"You mean Old Man McGucket?" Dipper asked.

"That crazy old coot?" Stan added. "What about him?"

"He was Grunkle Ford's lab assistant before he went all cuckoo-clock crazy."

"Puh-lease." Stan snorted. "That old codger doesn't know a screwdriver from a banjo!"

"Well that was before we gave him his brain back." Mabel explained.

Stan looked back at his niece, a questioning look in his eye before turning back around.

"I don't wanna know." he grumbled.

"It was really weird, and it involved this society that-" Mabel began.

"I said I don't wanna know!" Stan interrupted.

Dipper waved his hand, calming them both down.

"While he maybe be sane…..-er… now, I doubt he'd be willing to help us rebuild the portal. I mean, that thing is what made him crazy in the first place."

"I'm sure i can convince him with a little persuasion and reason." Stan suggested pulling out a pair of brass knuckles and sliding them onto his hands.

"Here's persuasion." he said, holding up his right hand.

And here's reason." he added, holding up his left.

"Grunkle Stan!" Dipper suddenly screamed. "The road!"

Stan quickly grabbed the wheel again, directing his attention back to the road as a power line was coming up fast. Stan tried to turn the car, but ultimately, the bumper hit the pole causing them to spin out of control as the power line fell to the ground. With a loud crash, they hit it hard, causing all three of them to shoot forward and the airbags to deploy. They all got out, surveying the damage. Stan fished into his pocket, searching for his cellphone.

"Great..." Stan grumbled as he began dialing. "Now I gotta rip off a tow truck driver."

…..

One angry tow truck driver and two stolen cars later, because they wrecked the first one again, the sign for Gravity Falls Oregon welcomed the Pines family back.

"Wow..." Mabel gasped. "We're finally back."

"Gravity Falls..." Dipper mused. "Boy have we missed this place."

"Well I can tell ya, this place has missed you." Stan commented. "You two are local heroes. You've even got a statue in the Mystery Shack!"

"Speaking of the shack, where are we gonna live?" Mabel asked.

Stan's eyebrows furrowed in thought.

"That's a good question." he replied. "Considering Soos is married now and has a kid, he moved into the Mystery Shack."

Mabel shot forward in her seat.

"Soos is married now?!" she repeated. "To whom?!"

"That weird Melody girl you hooked him up with." Stan answered.

Mabel punched the air, looking over at Dipper.

"I told you!" she told him. "You owe me five bucks!"

Dipper sighed good naturedly as he fished into his wallet and pulled out a five dollar bill. As Mabel snatched it up, she turned back to Stan.

"And his kid, boy or girl?" she asked.

"Boy." Stan replied. "And get this, he named the little rugrat Stan."

Once again, Mabel grinned triumphantly. Dipper pulled out another five, handing it to his sister.

"I have got to stop gambling with you." He muttered.

"If I can beat Grunkle Stan in a bet, I can easily beat you!"

"That's my girl!" Stan called. "But back to the matter at hand, we can't stay at the shack, at least, not permanently. There's not enough room. Soos squeezed a third bed into the attic because that's the only room he's not using."

Remembering how small the attic was, and Stan's loud snoring, the twins all agreed that the shack was not a good idea.

"Well, we can figure out living situations later." Dipper decided. "Let's just find Old Man McGucket."

"Yeah." Mabel agreed. "He should still be in Pacifica's old mansion."

Stan snorted.

"Yeah, if he hasn't burned the place to the ground already."

Both Dipper and Mabel glared at their Grunkle through the rearview mirror.

"What?"

…

McGucket Laboratories, formerly known as the Northwest Manor, had changed considerably since the twins had been gone. For starters, the gates were completely gone, and the stone walls were covered in different wires and satellite dishes. Even from the distance, it was obvious that the manor was now more of a mad scientist's lab than a hoity-toity mansion.

"Looks like McGucket's been doing pretty well for himself." Dipper commented.

"Yeah." Stan added with a sarcastic shrug. "All he needs is a stooped over servant with a humpback and a monster in the basement. I can't believe I let you two talk me into this."

"Grunkle Stan," Mabel chastised. "You asked for our help, so we're helping. Now let's go wrangle up a crazy old man."

Stan slipped on his brass knuckles, which made Dipper immediately protest.

"Whoa there, Grunkle Stan." He insisted. "Let's try talking to him first. After all, if we're the heroes of this town, then maybe he'll be willing to help us without…. Umm… persuasion and reason."

"Yeah." Mabel agreed. "And if all else fails, you can be our Plan B!"

Stan shrugged.

"I can live with that."

…..

Inside the laboratory, Old Man McGucket was working on his most recent experiment, a new version of a voice altering tonic to help him make him sound normal again. He was slowly adding a new compound to the solution. The chemicals had to be mixed delicately or else it could explode.

"Slowly…" he said to himself, slowly tipping one test tube over another. "Easy does it…"

Just then there was a loud knock at the door.

"Old Man McGucket?!" Dipper's voice called through the door.

The sudden noise startled McGucket, causing him to jump and drop the whole solution into the tube.

"Oh no." McGucket gulped.

Outside the lab, a loud explosion shook the house as black smoke began billowing out various windows and chimneys. Instinctively stepping back, the Pines family waved away the smoke as the door opened. McGucket was hacking and coughing, his beard and face covered in ash as he attempted to regain composure.

"What do ya want ya-?"

When he realized who it was, he wiped his face on the sleeve of his stained lab coat, grabbing both twins and hugging them tightly.

"Kids!" he shrieked, squeezing them tightly. "Boy are you two sight for sore eyes!"

"Hey McGucket." Dipper gasped, unable to breathe in the old man's grasp. "You look good."

McGucket released them, ruffling their hair.

"I can say the same fer you! You two are taller than a pair of sunflower on a Sunday!"

He then noticed Stan and squinted a bit.

"That you Stanford? You look good!"

"Actually, I'm Stanley." Stan explained. "Ford is…. MIA."

"He's Miss Indian American? How's dat possible?"

Stan shook his head.

"See, I told ya. Insane. He's useless."

McGucket seemed to get a bit offended by that and stomped forward, raising a finger up in Stan's face

"Now see here ya varmint." He shouted. "I may be old, crazy, and… some other third thing-"

"Forgetful?" Stan added.

"-That too! But I am not useless! In fact, I am so un-useless that I can do just about anything!"

"Even rebuild our Grunkle Ford's interdimensional portal that he has in the basement of the Mystery Shack?" Mabel asked.

"That I can- wait, what?" McGucket turned to Mabel. "What did you say?"

Dipper stepped forward.

"Grunkle Ford is missing in some other dimension." he explained. "The only way we can go after him is through the portal."

"And since Bill destroyed the Journals, you're the only one who can fix the Portal." Mabel added.

"So you gonna help us or not?" Stan finished.

Uh… Sure," McGucket said hesitantly, backing into the doorway. "Certainly. Just let me-"

He immediately slammed the door in the Pines Family's faces. His shrill, panicked screams rang through the house as he seemed to be getting as far away from the door as possible. Dipper sighed, then stepped forward and testing the door. Surprisingly, it was locked.

"Well looks like it's time for Plan B." he declared. "Grunkle Stan?"

"Right!" Stan responded.

Without hesitation, Stan kicked down the door and the three chased after McGucket.

"Get back here you old coot!" Stan shouted. "We need your help to get my brother back!"

"I ain't goin near that contraption!" McGucket shouted back. "I just got my mind back! I ain't gonna risk it again!"

McGucket ran into what was once a library overturning several tables of computers and chemicals along the way. The three just jumped over them as they pursued him. The old scientist ran upstairs and took a hallway on the right. The three quickly made their way upstairs but Dipper took off down a different hallway in order to surround him.

"McGucket please!" Mabel shouted as the two were gaining on him.

"Get away ya varmints!" McGucket shouted. "My mind is mine. No matter-"

Before he could finish, Dipper barreled out of the adjacent hallway tackling the old man to the ground. Using some old wrestling moves he'd learned, he pinned the old man down as his sister and Grunkle approached.

"Guys!" Dipper called out. "Hurry up! I can't hold him forever!"

"Alright," Stan said. "Mabel, open the bag!"

Mabel opened the large bag they had brought along, just in case things went south. She quickly shoved the bag over McGucket, both Dipper and Mabel struggling to keep the old man inside it. Stan then came over, flipping the bag and tying it off. With the still squirming McGucket now safely trapped, the three of them sagged on the ground in exhaustion

"Well that went well." Stan commented.

"Considering his history with the machine, I don't blame him for being a bit scared."

A shrill scream erupted from the bag, spurring the three back into motion. Stan threw the bag over his shoulder with an audible thud from its unwilling contents.

"Come on. The sooner we get this guy to the shack, the sooner we can save my brother."

…..

Stan dumped Old Man McGucket's sack out in the middle of the basement lab. One McGucket realized where he was, he shrieked and tried to make for the elevator. Both Mabel and Dipper tackled him before he even hit the button. As they dragged him back into the lab, he clawed at the ground, screaming with every inch.

"No!" he screamed. "I won't go back! Ya can't make me!"

Stan grabbed a nearby chair, holding it out for the twins. They wrestled the old man into it, which was when Stan produced the duct tape.

"Alright kids, hold him still."

McGucket continued screaming as he was practically mummified to the chair. Once they ran out of tape, Dipper grabbed a nearby bucket of water, dousing the old man with it. He spat out a stream of water as he seemed to calm down.

"Well that was refreshing!" he declared. "Now what were we talking about?"

"You fixing the portal device." Mabel supplied.

"Oh right." McGucket nodded before continuing his scream fest.

Dipper grabbed another bucket, dousing McGucket again. Spitting another stream, he looked at the twins.

"Just how many of them buckets do ya got?" he asked.

Dipper smirked, gesturing to a large collection of buckets full of water.

"Enough." he said with a shrug.

McGucket sighed.

"Look, I like you kids. You've done me a favor or two in the past, but I'm only gonna say this one more time."

He took a deep breath and let out another shrill scream. Dipper grabbed a third pail, drenching McGucket for a third time. This time, however, McGucket just spat out the water and continued screaming. Stan covered his ears in pain.

"This was a horrible idea." he growled. "Should've known he'd never help."

"Let me try something." Mabel suggested.

"Mabel, it's because of you that he's screaming like a horror movie victim." Dipper replied, hitting McGucket with a fourth bucket to at least temporarily stop the screaming.

"Dipper, trust me."

Dipper sighed, then stepped aside, arming himself with a fifth bucket just in case. Mabel grabbed McGucket by the shoulders, the old man screaming in her face.

"Old Man McGucket, you're not going in the portal!" she shouted over his screaming.

McGucket's screams cut off mid-shrill as he registered what Mabel said.

"Say what now?" he asked.

Mabel released his shoulders.

"We know you don't want to go back in the portal, and frankly, we don't blame you." Mabel explained. "But Grunkle Stan, Dipper, and I all need to go. We can't build the portal on our own, and you're the only one who knows how."

"So…. I'm not going back into that Nightmare Dimension?"

"Nope." Mabel said with a shake of her head. "You're just gonna rebuild Grunkle Fords Machine and make sure it doesn't blow up, rip apart the fabric of reality, or turn us into crazed lunatics like you."

McGucket grinned, standing up while still duct taped to the chair.

"Well why didn't ya say so?!" he shouted. "Let's get to work!"

He began hopping forward, but quickly fell flat on his face.

"Umm, a little help?"

Stan grumbled.

"I'll get the scissors."

…..

After a few minutes of cutting away tape, McGucket was free and began surveying Ford's efforts to dismantle the portal. As he looked around like a child on Christmas, the Pines family watched from the observation booth.

"Well kids, it would seem I was wrong about the old man."

Mabel opened her mouth.

"If you make me sing that blasted song, I'll make you wish the old man was still screaming in your ear."

Mabel closed her mouth.

"Well, now that we have our repair man, we still have to work on our living arrangements." Dipper noted.

"You two go handle that." Stan told them. "Someone's gotta make sure that the old man doesn't try to eat any of the hardware."

"Grunkle Stan..." Mabel said with a shake of her head.

Stan sighed, throwing his hands up in the air.

"Okay, so I'm a little anxious about making sure the portal gets fixed quickly, sue me. It's my brother we're talking about."

Both Dipper and Mabel smiled, completely understanding their Grunkle's anxiety. If one of them was trapped in another dimension, they knew they wouldn't rest until they were safe.

"You keep an eye on McGucket then." Dipper declared. "Mabel and I will figure out our new living arrangements."

"And how we're gonna make money now that Soos is running the Mystery Shack!" Mabel added.

"That too." Dipper nodded.

"Just be careful." Stan told them as they began heading for the elevator. "You may be adults now, but this is still Gravity Falls, and the weirdness of this place can still kill ya."

They entered the elevator, waving and promising to be careful. As they disappeared, Stan turned to McGucket, who was currently trying to piece two bits of machinery together.

"Can ya pass me the whatjamawhozits?" he asked, holding out his hand expectantly.

"The what?" Stan asked.

"Not what, whatjamawhozits!"

Stan sighed.

"This is gonna be a long project isn't it?" He wondered aloud.

"Not if you pass me the whatjamawhozits." McGucket called back.

.

.

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13-3-7-21-3-11-5-20 12-1-2-15-18-1-20-15-18-9-5-19: 14-15-23 8-9-18-9-14-7 8-21-14-3-8-2-1-3-11-5-4 1-19-19-9-19-20-1-14-20. 13-21-19-20 8-1-22-5 19-12-21-18-18-5-4 19-16-5-5-3-8 1-14-4 1-2-9-12-9-20-25 20-15 16-21-12-12 12-5-22-5-18-19. 1-16-16-12-25 23-9-20-8-9-14, 2-21-20 2-5 13-9-14-4-6-21-12 15-6 20-8-5 13-15-14-19-20-5-18-19 9-14 20-8-5 2-1-19-5-13-5-14-20.


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